Prayer to Live in Internet Heaven

Who else is tired of reading "who else"?

Or of reading "It is not your fault"?
If you are, it is time for you to make your new year's resolution list.

I want no longer to be about to discover the real method anyone can use.

Though the bright side is that, definitely, I am not anyone.

I do not want to see people spilling their secrets.

Though it is slightly less disgusting than watching them spilling their guts.

I do not want to learn the 2 or 3 mistakes that everyone, even the gurus, makes.

They are never the ones I do make. (Am I too creative?)

I do not want to spend hours watching videos that boast they can teach me how not to lose time.

That will save time! Come on, it takes ten times more time to listen to someone who reads aloud what appears on a screen than it takes to read the screen.

From now, I will burn any napkin, road map, magic formula, step-by-step guide, paint-by-number model, and brain dead simple tactic. Do I truly look that stupid?
I will also spare me the emails that read:

• the response has been tremendous.
• the recording of the webinar will only be posted live for a very short time. (Why? If they make that kind of money, they can afford to pay for the bandwidth.)
• I can send 49,632 visitors to your website.
• our servers crashed down.
• we are back online.
• and the newcomer: the time of recession is the best time ever.

I am fed up with the "select few", "limited number" and "only half a seat" alerts; with all these slamming doors: doors are closed, and opened, and closed again, and opened once more time (but it is the last, I swear); with the repetitive "one-of-a-kind" events. There are so many of them that I cannot understand how they dare to write "one-of-a-kind".

I will not read a word of any sales letter that proposes to deliver the actual version of items that could be downloaded. I am paralyzed by terror when I stare at those dozen of DVDs I'm supposed to watch. How long should I live to watch all that stuff? I guess it would be outdated before I finished playing the first module.

I am on the verge of vomiting when I read that to crack a code or another would bring me in some resort on a tropical paradise. I can't help wondering if Clickbank pays for these people to publish the good results they get.

Of course, most of what I wrote above is good news for people who grow (and mind) their own business. We mostly read ads for products designed for affiliate marketing. Affiliation may be the right choice to make it on the internet, if not for the affiliates themselves, for those who market them.